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| Egypt - congrats to those freedom fighters but boo to america who is not rioting in the streets due to unsavory conditions, wealth gap, sexism, racism, censorship, police state, yes all that but really the big problem is why is there not better material on tv? 300 channels and nothing on. We are so angry about the fact that we can never be satisfied by any form of entertainment/anything, well at least we would be angry if we weren't so apathetic. Super bowl - too easy, this was just bad and it proves that the super bowl brings together the worst parts of civilization. good luck to the players getting their fair share in their upcoming union struggle. Camel toes - we are not against them but we just want to know why women get upset when we point out their bunched up box. if a dude wears yoga pants and his balls were all tangled up and way obvious would it not be polite to point out that he is in danger of twisting off his own pair? the lazy eyed dude we were trying to give directions to - we did not know that both your eyes were lazy. we know that it is most polite to look into the eye which works when speaking to a person with a lazy eye but when we attempted to do this your other eye began to wander at which point we switched back, then that one went awandering and we went back and forth as we were telling you some really bad directions. we were giving you visual direction which we realize now was a huge mistake. we should have said like, "20 paces yonder" or something cause we know you were not gonna prolly make it to far with both eyes wandering like that and our poorly thoughtout directions. the girl on the elevator who we thought was high but was actually just a cunt - okay first we had a massive headache cause we ate some bad hummus earlier in the day, second is your eyes were super dilated, like you had to be hepped up. we also used the compliment sandwich, or is it the criticism hamburger, we said you had beautiful eyes and then before you could finish saying nothing, we saw your pupils. damn, we know drugs, we have bootlegged many episodes of Weeds that we know a person that has been smoking the maryjane. your response was hilarious "did you really just ask me if i am high" yes we did, we did not expect you to be such a "c w*rd" after and be all mad at us. but whatevs we know you smoke and we feel you should not be ashamed of your shameful drug habit. cunt - why is this any worse a swear word? people seem to be mega-bummed when we say it, not at them of course, not to their face at least, we are classy motherfuckers and would never do anything like that unless that cunt deserved it haha, we made ourselves laugh Reagan forever stamps - we went to post office to buy some stamps which was a mistake cause we learned that we could just get them from an atm machine, but wait does the atm change me that 2 dollar fee for those too, what is up with that fee anyway? isnt it all just money on a computer? its not like they need to carry my banks specific type of bills. anyway the post office said they only had reagan stamps, and we would rather die than buy those stamps to which the post office said that we should please leave. but whatevs we are just gonna make our own stamps. do you think they will ever have 9/11 highjacker stamps? or hitler stamps? cause thats who reagan is to me...hitler..."hey get your hands off me" "where are you taking me?" "why does it smell like cuban cigars and gulag" "i dont want to touch his bare ass while you take a picture officer" "obama why cant you close guantanamo" |